I'm Willing To Talk About It
It shouldn't be some deep, guilt-ridden secret that some of us get lost in struggles with the past, and take our vengeance out on the current justice systems.
My advice for standing up to 'da man:
1st: Get a good shrink.
2nd: Take up a sport, preferably a team sport that will stave off isolation.
3rd: Put you family and career ahead of everything; if you find yourself wavering, re-assess what you're doing.
My first sign that there may have been danger ahead:
I was / am a big admirer of Marcel Bolduc. After the murder of his daughter, Isabelle in 1996, Marcel became a vocal advocate for reform. His name was everywhere in the press and then, pffft!... nothing. Marcel vanished. So what happened? I won't speak for Marcel, but my suspicion is that he burned out, worn down by the system (please note: that Marcel has recently rebounded, becoming a pillar of Pierre Boisvenu's Afpad.) I should have been fully cognizant of the lessons of this story, but I wasn't... or rather, I conveniently chose to ignore the lesson.
Before you embark on a conquest against the establishment? Please consider the math. The current government institutions will outlast capitalism. You will be long in the grave before they are worn down. It's not a race, it's a marathon. So take a deep breath and prepare for the long, hard war. And keep a smile on your face. Pettiness is a sure fire weapon to drive a hole through your own heart.
Look: I know a little about PTSD: PTSD regressed me to the state of a child. I time-travelled 30-years into my past and found myself stamping my feet like a 13-year-old boy. That's understandable, but society will only allow you so much grace-time to behave that way: you've got to pull it together and re-join society... play by the rules... maintain some dignity. Otherwise, you wide-up the basketcase everyone is trying to avoid.
Listen: you're not crazy, you're just driven. There's nothing wrong with that (just remember to occasionally eat-a-peach). Stay socially involved. Read the occasional novel in lieu of crime statistics. And if you still have problems, drop me an email.