This is Me and Justice
This is me and Justice...
I pay out-of-pocket $700 for an airline ticket to Quebec City in November 2007. Ostensibly I am there to visit my parents who are staying at The Frontenac; actually I am there for a visit with a representative of the Justice Ministry, but I don't tell my parents that.
This is me and Justice...
I am out on the Plains of Abraham for a jog listening to The Stones, Beggars' Banquet, looking at the Quebec separatist graffiti on the ramparts, thinking that's what drove my family out in 1978. Thinking... that might have been what led to Theresa's death - not the Parti-Quebecois, but the aftermath that saw a tear-ass consolidation of government agencies, and a rush to show a fifth column presence and authority.
This is me and Justice...
Loving Quebec City, wishing I could live there, wishing I could walk-the-walk, talk-the-talk, in a perfectly homogenized society.
This is me and Justice...
Ironing my pants in the room at the Chateau Frontenac, having to explain to my parents why I am doing this, having to explain I have an appointment with the designee of the Minister of Justice, having to ask if they approve, and can I bum a lift to St. Foy.
This is me and Justice...
Riding with my father in a luxury car he purchased from his dead neighbor... a luxury car, but outdated, riding the Miracle Mile to Ste Foy, so my father can drop me off at the Ministry of Justice, in my blue suit, so I can deliver my say, then take the bus back to the hotel.
This is Me and Justice...
Abandoning comfort for a belief. Destroying my former life. Hoping I don't screw that up further. Over the age of 40... still trying to be a man. Making a vow to the past and the future. Hoping my enemies will forgive me. Praying my family will stay with me. Knowing I'm right, praying I'm not wrong. Not giving up, not giving up...
This is me and Justice...
Justice is: Enjoying luxury. Having a beer at the Frontenac bar. Shopping with your mother, dining with your parents. Enjoying life's pleasures. All the while ignoring the itching feeling that you are a shill; the system will play you and wear you down to a nub: that's not for me, THAT'S FOR YOU. I learned my lesson... now YOU learn my lesson. You can outlive your current bureaucrat, but the system will outlive you. Eat that and learn to smile.
This is ME and Justice...Despite my bitterness, I know some things I have not shared. Many wondered how long I'd hang in there... I made a solemn promise to myself... we haven't reached the halfway mark. I have a few surprises coming up. If you know me, it won't surprise you. Keep denying this case and I will hit you with a fist...
I was a victim, prepare for something a little more formidable, something you can't fight.
If you'd done your job, I'd have moved on. But now you've transformed me. Now you have to deal with me as an equal... actually as an expert.
Let It Bleed
posted by John Allore @ 4/03/2008 09:59:00 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
John, I don't know about "trying to be a man" but you are certainly One Heck Of A Brother! and I'm sure your parents are proud of their son. Sorry Andre, sons.
Anon
Well written John!
It's all a matter of time...
He who laughs last laughs best
Doren P
"Trying to be a man"?
What do you mean "trying" John?
I'll admit it,
you've got more guts than I do.
I would sure hate to have you as an enemy.
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